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Can You Have Your Cake And Eat It?

Can You Have Your Cake And Eat It?

| On 01, Jun 2018

Darrell Mann

More politics. If that’s what we can call the increasingly farcical Brexit story. Enter Donald Tusk, in the blue-and-yellow corner to argue the case for the EU. Here’s what he announced to the Community at large and the UK ‘negotiators’ this month:

“To all who believe in it, I propose a simple experiment. Buy a cake, eat it, and see if it is still there on the plate. The brutal truth is that Brexit will be a loss for all of us. There will be no cakes on the table. For anyone. There will be only salt and vinegar.”

See what I mean about the problem of Socratic thinking? No imagination. Of course we can have our cake and eat it. Like this…

It’s not rocket science.
Neither is looking this up in the Contradiction Matrix to see how others have successfully solved the problem before us…

Which, in turn, should fairly swiftly take us to some breakthrough solutions:

Principle 35, Parameter Changes – virtual cake; shift to a virtual EU, a al The Matrix.

Principle 13, Other Way Around – cake regurgitation; let the other countries all leave the EU and the UK stays in.

Principle 5, Merging – stay in the EU; everyone takes turns to make or share their cake

Principle 24, Intermediary – acquire a cake-factory; stay in the EU, operate all political relations through the Isle of Man(n)

Principle 28, Mechanics Substitution, a cake version of ‘Le Whiff’ – all the best bits of the chocolate without the calories. Stay in (a field-based) EU.

Principle 31, Holes – aerate the cake-mix better. Stay in the EU, dig more Tunnels. Ideally bypassing France.

Principle 40, Composite – include positive and negative calorie ingredients into the cake (celery and pineapple), stay in the EU, the perfect blend of different nationalities and cultures (and the French)

Principle 37, Relative Change, Thermal Expansion – roast the French, then stay in the EU.

Principle 2, Taking Out – take out the calorific components; take out the French.

Principle 15, Dynamics – eat cake only when hungry, make new cake when not hungry; stay in the EU except for the twelve sessions where parliament is forced to up sticks and move to Strasbourg to satisfy French egos. Or, have everyone rotate the country they live in every six months, so we all get to experience all the different types of cake. Apart from France.

This politics lark, it’s really easy when you have the right tools.